When it rains... it really frickin pours right...

Laugh or cry right? We are laughing, and taking this opportunity to do some long overdue home improvements.

So you know how I was SO excited to paint my room? Jason went to remove baseboards and his crowbar went through a soft wall. Namely the wall behind the shower... ugh... so we stopped all progress and waited for reinforcements. In the meantime, we moved our bed to the front room, and whilst sitting in there, noticed a signifigant discolored area of ceiling.. oh yeah, then it rains.. and then the ceiling drips... ugh

So now we are looking at some roof patching... possibly replacing...

Reinforcements came today by way of Claudio, who tore apart the walls and said it looked like our shower had a slow leak... and it would probably only cost us around $200 in materials to completely gut our room and insulate, then replace the walls and ceiling for a brand new room! If it will only cost us about that per room, then we are going to do it. The kid's rooms SORELY need new ceilings and insulated walls.... and it would TOTALLY save us on the heating/air bills during those months.

So here is how it breaks down... when you HAVE the money to do projects, you put it off.... when you DON'T have the money, you CAN'T put it off.. so whatcha gonna do? WORK IT.

I am surprisingly calm... hey, there is something to be said for watching all of those home improvement/flip this house shows... now it is our turn to put our backs into it! LOL

See ya.. off to demo!

Easter!!

Hope ya had a fantabulous day! Mine was great until I got into a fight with my Grandpa. Whatever. He made a rude comment to my cousin's girlfriend and I called him out on it. Chastized him like a child he said. Welp, don't make rude comments about a young girl's weight around me and think you will get away with it. PERIOD.

Other than that, our day was nice! We colored eggs in the morning, went to Aunt Nancy's and had early dinner... deviled eggs... chips and salsa... good company... lol

Have a great week!!

Howdy peeps!

Well.. peep... cuz I KNOW noone else reads this! LOL

I am so bipolar! Most of my posts are me venting, whining, bitching or moaning. No such luck today! *and I promise I am not really like this all the time*

We had a fabu day! Kiddo #2 got to go home after school with a friend, he thought that was the coolest thing EVER! Kiddo #1 and I bowled early and met our friends at a T-ball game, where I ran smack-dab into a gal I grew up with! Her son is on friend's son's T-ball team! We chatted for the longest time, it was awesome!

Came home and kiddo #2 asked me to help remove his training wheels off of his small bike. So I did, he sat down, I gave him a push and off he went! Just like that! Of course he had some minor turning problems and feet issues, but he rode around back there for a good 30 minutes and did AWESOME!!! Kiddo #1 was damn near 7 when she finally let us remove the training wheels and it was a HORRIBLE fight to get her going on her own. #2.. EASY PEASY! Of course now he is SO EXCITED to show Daddy & Papa tomorrow!

Tomorrow I work, kiddo's are going to Papa's and then I am heading to my BF's for her FABULOUS bday evening! YUMMY PIZZA AND BEER... possibly SANGRIA!!! possibly HAIR COLORING! LMAO!

I have to teach a class on Sunday at 1pm, then pick up kiddos, then head over to friend's house to make rainbow goop for the kindie class on Monday!

PHEW! Fun stuff I tell you.. and not a depressed bone in this body! LOL

See ya!

I'm feeling sad today...

Nostalgic. Hormonal. Blech.

I hate this part of my cycle. I hate feeling hopeless.. even if it is just for a few days. I hate that something ALWAYS comes up during this most sensitive time for me that makes me doubt me. That sucks. I hate how puffy my damn eyes get after I spend 30 minutes realizing how crappy I feel.

My son does NOT have ADHD. Don't you DARE say that he does, after 6 months of school has already gone by and you have NEVER given anything but praise in regards to him.

Not until now, after 2 stressful months for him because YOU are focusing solely on the truly ROTTEN children in his kindergarten class and you have NO patience left for my 5 year old (and others) who are NORMAL and get BORED when you let them sit there with nothing to do but be antsy.

Don't patronize me with comments about how "it isn't as if he isn't smart".. cuz guess what.. I effin KNOW he is smart. He can sit at the table for an HOUR and work on reading, writing and coloring... WITHOUT fidgeting. He can deduce how shit works WAY better than most ADULTS I know and will ask you a ZILLION questions until he is absolutely sure he gets it.

Don't you DARE make me feel like I am missing something... cuz I am not. So there. Vent over. Moving on.

I hope I feel better tomorrow. Jason didn't work overtime today and won't be going on his ride-along tomorrow so maybe I can actually get some decent effin sleep and snuggle with my hub for a bit.

Hmph.

Another week.. another illness! GEEZ

The kids had finally recovered from whatever nastiness was plaguing them the last 2 weeks.. only to come down with another new, lovely cold/cough/fever crudiness.

I am fighting it. BIG TIME. I have Echinacea with Goldenseal. I have Mandarin Oranges. I have Multi-Vitamens. I have HOT Apple Cider (high in Vitamen C so it says) with lemon and honey. I have Halls cough drops. I have Nyquil. I will survive. Hopefully... lol

Jason starts EMT school next week and has another ride-along scheduled for the week after. He is happy. He had a great time last week. He rode along with the Ambulance and they had several calls. I am excited that he is excited. I will be honest... I thought it might wear off and he would change his mind. Not so. Thank gawd. The problem now lies with all of the school he will need to do before he can become a firefighter. That part is scary. Not only because going back to school after 13 years is scary.. but because having a family to support WHILE going back to school is even scarier. And me.. the worrier.. constantly thinking about what we will do... welp, as I told a friend today, we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

Peace OUT.

Ouuuuucccchhhh....

So I have finally started taking daily multi-vitamens... along with my meds... and oh boy, excess iron is painful. I need me some Fiber pills... or something.. cuz I feel like I am DYING right now... my belly is so tender and achy and shooting pains and pleeeeze can I take some vicodin? But no.. cuz that can bind you up too... ugh... someone just put me out of my misery...

In other news.. Jason is going on his first ride-along with the fire department tomorrow. Bye Bye goateee.... helloo hotty fireman.. hehe.. well, he is not quite there yet but he will be... I have faith.. and patience....

See ya

Oh happy day...

NOT. My poor kids have been sick since last weekend... and poor Jarrett had to come home from school yesterday and miss his Valentine's party. Of course I am a stress case because his fever just wouldn't go away... and he was complaining that his tummy hurt, but not pukey hurt... and he cried all night.. it was awful. So I got very little sleep... got no Valentine's lovin AND didn't get to watch Lost last night... ugh.. LMAO

Besides that my cuz is comin to visit this weekend and we are in cleaning mode. I HATE CLEANING MODE. Especially since I know that no matter how MUCH I clean, the house is still gross. Dishes are done, laundry is done, but this place is SO DUSTY and I need to clean the floors... bathrooms... kitchen... don't even go there for the front room. That place is scary.

Oh yeah, did I mention that our favorite crazy gal from Quickutz called and asked Cindy and I if we could help her at the Costa Mesa expo this weekend? She was hoping for some help running the Make N Take and thought of us! How cool is that? VERY COOL.. but of course we both have to scramble to find child care, work out our schedules etc.

Why does everything all go down at once? LOL...

Have a fabu weekend... I will be a busy bee for sure!

What a Blast!

We had so much fun playing around at CA Adventure Park and Disneyland! It was chilly and rainy which meant that noone was there! We met a couple later in the evening and ran around with them until the parks closed! SOOO much fun! Anywho.. good to be back!

Off to LA!

For the CHA trade show! Can't WAIT! The hub and I are heading to Disneyland and CA Adventure for an afternoon alone... how fun! Last time we were there alone was our Honeymoon 11 years ago!

We shall be back on Wednesday!! Have fun!

Firefighters...

are hot. My husband is looking to become one. That makes me hot. Fires get hot. It's all hot.


Anyway... we went and signed Jason up for EMT class today. We also turned in his application at CDF for seasonal firefighter. While he doesn't look good on paper now, he will be spending the next few months getting all of the classes taken that they require. If not seasonal this year, then next year. Possibly the reserve. Either way it is going to be very busy for him, and us in the next few months. God help us.

Awwwww...

I was cleaning out the Inbox when I found this email from Alea. She sent it while I was in Vegas for the last trade show... so stinking cute!

A poem from me: You are a great mother, I love you, you have a great brother, I miss you, you are a nice person, I love you, you like to hold mice persons, I miss you, you love to scrapbook, I love you, I love to matchbook, I miss you, you are my mommy, you are my mommy.

Love Alea



I love it!!

I give up....

Ok... I guess I will give up the ghost... seems like we may have actually had the flu.

Everyone kept saying it... but I didn't believe it. We didn't show any other signs of the flu, no chills, fever, ache.. nada. And less than 6 hours after the puking ended... the hunger crept in... HUH?? HUNGER? Um.. yeah..

But alas... boy child spent night before last puking... so.. there you have it.

Oh well..

Off to a rocky start...

Welp, I was hoping to say that the New Year started off with a FABULOUS Monday.. but alas, it wasn't so! Dacia, Jason and I headed up to meet some friends for coffee and both had drinks with soy milk in them... and about 2 hours later when we headed home... well.. that was the beginning of a very LONG and painful night. The only thing we had in common yesterday was the soy in our coffee.. so I am almost positive it was bad. We don't have the flu, no other symptoms. We found out that it sucks to be sick at the same time, our poor kids get freaked out by the puking.... and we are VERY thankful that our house has 2 bathrooms.

Today we are a sorry lot. We were both FINALLY able to get some sleep around 3:30 am... but today is the first day back at school for the kids so we had to get up and get them ready. Team effort since both of us are very weak. Luckily my saviour Cindy is going to work for me and Jason may end up calling in tonight as well. We will see. For now I am heading back to bed, hoping I can sleep comfortably for a little bit... ugh..

Happy New Year!! LOL

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Can I just say WOO FRICKIN HOOO! This year is finally on the way out!

Dacia, Jason and I pre-rang in the New Year last night at our friend's house. Can you say MARTINI PARTY?? OMG.. we had SOOOOOO MUCH FUN! Pictures to come soon! There was lotsa food, WAYYY too much alchohol, lotsa martini's flavors.. total FUN times.. we even had a puker (not one of US of course)!!

So, here Dacia and I sit, still recovering slightly from our night out.. well.. we officially got home at 4am.. so.. early morning I spose.. and we have all the necessary tools to bring in the New Year in style!!

Be SAFE!!

Shawni

Hmm.. time flies

when the holidays are upon us yeah? It has been WAY too long, but this past month has flown by. Little bit of shopping, whole lotta crafting, teaching classes, making Christmas cards (umm like 200), wrapping, baking, cooking, spending time with friends, the whole shabang. Tonight is the official EXHALE. The kids are at Papa's for the night... the mess will get cleaned up tomorrow (and not by ME - SWEET), the shopping is over and right now it is time to chill.

I started out saying this year was going to be powerful. Powerful it was. I wasn't anticipating the Hurricane Katrina powerful that it has shown itself to be.. but ok.. we are all dealing with that in our own ways. Now we need to move on. I honestly should have known it could be disasterous. After all, 10 years ago THIS year I got married (good), my mom died, my step-dad went to jail, my real dad sent him there, I almost had to get a restraining order against said dad... the list goes on. Maybe I should be wary in 2016.... lol

2007 WILL BE OUR YEAR. Let's ring it in with style... get effin on with the show.

NIN

Wow... it is amazing what a song can bring back. Once again reminiscing...

I used to go dancing at a place in Downtown SD called Soma. It was all dark inside and we liked it that way. I got all hoochied up with my big hair, dark makeup, short tight skirts and Doc's. We would usually get REALLY drunk in the parking lot before we went in. We would dance and sweat, dance and sweat, dance and drink, drink and dance.

It was so much fun.

In between the dancing, drinking and sweating, we would venture downstairs to listen to the live bands play. I recall watching a band where the lead singer/guitarist was nude under his guitar. Yep.. nude. I saw so many great bands there... local bands that went on to become something more.

I was 16 and 17 at the time.

Afterwards, we would head into HillCrest and have coffee at Soho. We would sit and laugh and talk and enjoy the time together. We all took rocks and wrote Soho in red nailpolish on them. I still have mine.

When we weren't going out to dance and have coffee, we stayed at one of the other girl's apartments for the night. We watched movies, drank, danced, had fun, and crashed all together on the floor. We held hands and kissed as friends. We were happy. It was a necessary escape for me from my dreadful existance at home. Thank everything that is holy that my mom was too wrapped up in her own bullshit to pay attention to what I was doing.

All of that changed eventually. My friends weren't satisfied with drinking and started trying other things. I never knew. They got into crystal, X, acid and went to raves and partied way harder than I was willing to do. I pulled away from them. I was depressed. Alienated. Alone once again. Back to being in the middle of my mom's bullshit. I met Jason right in the middle of all of that. Thank everything that is holy once again.

One of my long lost friends found me on MySpace. His wife is having a baby this month. I couldn't be happier for them. I love listening to this music as it is such a reminder of the fun times I had when I was younger. Rock on peeps...

Another day, another dollar...

Welp, so far so decent. Hub's new job is going well so far. He is at a seminar today to get his Notary. Kiddo #1 and I are off to Sacramento to visit my family for a week. I am so excited. Today is her bday and we are taking her first plane ride, where all of the family will be waiting for a surprise bday party and she has NO IDEA AT ALL. She knows we are going "somewhere". We leave in 20 minutes! Am I good or am I good???

Things have been turning up here. Not feeling so desperate right now. Bills are getting paid (well.. not all by us.. lol)... and in general we are feeling a bit more relaxed. Thank gawd.

Hugz peeps... I will be back in a week!

New Job...

He started at the new position this week. Good news and bad news situation. Bad news is that well, we already established that it doesn't pay for squat, and.. he is back in a uniform and EVERYONE keeps asking him why... Good news.. his bosses really want him to succeed and have told him they anticipate him doing so quickly. They are happy to have him and he is happy to be there. It also looks like he will be training on day shift and possibly ending up on a swing shift. That would be awesome! He would be able to do something else on the side as well as seeing us occasionally.. and most importantly, our life wouldn't revolve around his sleeping schedule!

In other news... hub's mom tried to commit suicide.

Oh yeah... you would think we could get 5 flipping minutes to take a breath and adjust to our existing situation (which still isn't stable) before another major event happens. Not in this family baby.. oh nooo.

She is Bi-Polar and says she now has nothing to hold onto after losing custody of hub's nephew. He is now in foster care undergoing the counseling he has SO long needed, and being made sure he sees his parole officer on a regular basis. She doesn't qualify for welfare without him. I am POSITIVE there are programs out there to help her, yet once again she has turned on the pity party to my brother-in-law saying that no-one loves her... she has given up.. if we all could just send her some money.. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want her to DIE.. but this is a woman who has lived a cycle of independence/drugs/depression/needing to be rescued.. for 20+ years!! At some point you have to take the initiative to take care of yourself right?? And don't think I am blaming her for her illnesses.. but I do believe you can make a conscious decision to NOT use drugs.. which triggers your depression and sends you into a downward spiral.

We took her in when NO-ONE else could or would.. for a year and a half.. and not just her, but hub's abused/issue ridden nephew too! What was the result you might ask?? She came to us half dead, hooked on methadone.. and within 2 weeks was cleaned up and off of it, in a drug re-hab program and functioning as an adult. Which sounds great until we started finding her passed out in the front room, empty bottles of pills here and there... fighting all the time with us... crashing her car, etc etc. My family suffered. My child had to be in counseling and on anti-depressants for a year after they moved out... and nephew went on to molest one of his young cousins!

I have chosen to give up responsibility for this one. I decided last time to bring her here. Not gonna happen. We don't have any funds to send her.. which wouldn't help her anyway as she would blow it on pills. We can't do much about this other than offer suggestions as to her next course of action.. which I think should be a live-in drug or mental program.

So yeah.. that was my yesterday.. LOL... in good news... QK came in and I can't wait to see it! LMAO

See ya!

It's been 3 weeks...

And while it hasn't been fun, this past week we came to terms with what was going on and were able to formulate plan B. Former employer was officially going to cut him loose this week, but he had one last department to interview for. We had decided to interview with a few other companies and in the meantime all 3 of us decided we would take a Notary Public class to be able to do that. The interview with former employer (new department) was yesterday. The result was good. He got the job.

Now while I am sure most of you are thinking.. oh thank GAWD cuz that was scary... well it still is. He will actually be making about $20 LESS an hour than his former job. That means as of right now, we will ONLY be able to afford our mortgage with his pay. Within his pay we will also have continued health insurance, which was a big concern of mine.. you know, having 2 small children and all. Nothing else will be covered. Which accounts for quite a bit actually. Car insurance, gas & electric, water & trash, cable utilities, cell phones & rv payment. Oh yeah.. did I forget to mention FOOD? Yeah.. well that too. Oh and the holidays... and that pesky property tax which is so lovely in California. Of course we have already cut back on a lot of things.. no going out, no pointless Target trips, but our kids are still growing and winter (however warm it may be compared to most) is right around the corner.. which means jackets and jeans and sweatshirts...

Now I know I may sound bitter, and honestly, I am. I am frusterated that his past 13 years of employment have come down to this. Him practically BEGGING for a job, one that is front line, just so he can get off of Unemployment (which pays diddly squat), keep health insurance for his family and contribute to keeping our household alive and well. 9 years in management and every single place he interviewed for said they wanted him to start at the bottom. It's crap I tell ya. CRAP.

So now... what to do from here? They do have supervisor positions available in this new department, they DO want him in there. They want to train him so that he is aware of their policies and procedures (understandable) and they have said after that, it is up to him to move up. Basically depending on how fast he catches on and proves he can do it, then they will move him upwards. They do want to fast track him and they haven't put a time frame on it. That part is good. Now I go back to worrying whether or not he will make sufficient effort to have it happen sooner rather than later. I don't want to be the naggy bitch wife who is constantly harping.. but I also don't want to be the horrible stressed out wife who is constantly worrying how we are going to pay these other bills. Here is the hard part for me. Because now I have lost trust in him. While I completely feel that he was fired for bull crapola reasons, that for whatever reason they just didn't want him there and they found completely lame reasons to justify firing him.. I still worry that there were things he could have done better... efforts he could have made to prevent this... etc. The controlling part of me does NOT have an easy time with this. AT ALL.

So anyway.. this is a step in the right direction. I still have an eye twitch, I am still having trouble sleeping, and now I am worried that they will give him a graveyard position once again, which will mean that he won't have the energy to do ANYTHING outside of this job. Which honestly, he needs to do. I don't want to live off of father-in-law for the rest of my damn life.

Ok.. bitter post today with a highlight of somewhat good news... hugz

This blog has become horribly depressing...

but I am sure you are thinking.. HEY.. no news is good news right?

NO

WRONG

He didn't get the job. We don't know why, we are waiting on an email.

He DOES have a 2nd interview with the people he interviewed with in the first place. Not sure when or what that will yield, but at this point, anything is a bonus.

Unemployment kicks in this week, but sadly, it is MINISCULE compared to what he was making. You know how everyone talks about %'s when it comes to unemployment/disability? WELL, apparently there is a MAX salary amount they base it off of, and he was WAY over that. So we are getting about 45% of what he was making BEFORE they take the taxes out. EACH MONTH. Woopedy do. That will cover.. oh... the mortgage? And pretty much food. And that's it. So all of the utilites need to get covered somehow or the other. Hmmm. Looks like I may be picking up more days at the store and possibly looking for a job. I guess we will see.

Good news is that we sign our loan papers tomorrow, so that will relieve some stress.

Did I mention that amidst all of this mess I have a HUGE trade show in less than 2 weeks? AND, the city decided to partially close off access to the street my store is on, and the businesses are suffering BADLY for it? I am finally starting to pick up after a slow summer but have no idea how this will affect me... ugh

OK, enough whining, I am off to work. Have a day.